


Dreamscapes

by faithinthepoor



Series: Once Upon a Time [21]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Into the Deep</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreamscapes

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows my [Fairytale Drabbles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618763), [Mirror Mirror](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618771), [This Provincial Life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618775), [Viviane or Nimue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618809), [Dreams and Wishes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618851), [All the Better To….](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619484), [Magic Keys](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619497), [Curiouser and Curiouser](http://archiveofourown.org/works/619514), [Snow Blind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620280), [Spinning Straw](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620288), [Wooden Hearts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621128), [Poisoned](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622526), [True Love and Other Curses](http://archiveofourown.org/works/625038), [Spellbound](http://archiveofourown.org/works/628806), [Over the Rainbow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/630076), [Facades](http://archiveofourown.org/works/632227), [Lost Girls](http://archiveofourown.org/works/636939), [Monstrosities](http://archiveofourown.org/works/640162), [Love and Lies](http://archiveofourown.org/works/652912) and [Something Wicked this Way Comes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/665458)

For someone trapped in a fiery underworld Mary Margaret sleeps peacefully. She barely moves and her breaths are deep and even. It was agreed by all that Emma would watch over Mary Margaret until she woke, and Emma is taking her responsibility seriously, but she wonders if she was really Mary Margaret’s first choice for the job.

Watching someone sleep hardly requires an impressive skill set but she suspects that her companions feel that even this task is beyond her. It’s not a fair assessment of her worth. She is not the one who let Aurora get captured and Emma feels she fought her fair share of the zombie creatures. At the very least she fought them as well as someone who is virtually weaponless could. If they had the tiniest bit of faith in her, instead of treating her like a child who can’t use scissors, then maybe she might be able to be of some use.

Mulan, who is considered to have actual value, is nowhere to be seen. Emma is resentful of the fact that no one is around to notice this failing. It’s petty and it makes her feel small but Emma would love the chance to point out that Mulan has disappeared and that she is still right where she is meant to be. She wants Mary Margaret to know that she is reliable and to prove, once and for all, that she is not useless. 

She contemplates telling the sleeping Mary Margaret about Mulan’s transgression, somehow it seems a little less spiteful that way, but she realises that she has far more important things to talk to Mary Margaret about. If nothing else this is chance to tell the other woman all the things that she can not say to her face. She takes Mary Margaret’s hand and tries to decide how to start. 

“Hi,” she says and sounds so lame that she wants to kick herself. “I feel like there are a lot of things that I should tell you but I don’t know how to do it without hurting your feelings.”

“I don’t know if you want me to call you Mom or not but I don’t think I can ever do that. Whatever I thought my mother would be like this isn’t it. It’s not just the age thing, although that is a bit of a mind fuck, it’s everything really. My mother was meant to be normal. She wasn’t meant to be perfect; it wasn’t even that important that she was a good person, but she was meant to be normal.”

“You are not normal. Not by the standards of the life I know. You are very strange. You are the softest bad ass who has ever existed. You are a princess who shoots arrows like a mofo and then turns around and talks to birds. Like really talks to birds. I don’t know what to do with that.” Mary Margaret shifts in her sleep and Emma has the brief and completely irrational thought that she has offended her.

“I’m sure you are amazing and all but I was totally ok with the idea that I would never know my mother and I don’t know how to handle the fact that I know you. If anything it makes me angry. You were my friend. I haven’t had many friends. I hate that that’s gone now.”

“I don’t know how to be when I’m around you and the same goes for David. I know that if we get back you will want us all to pretend that we are one big happy family but that is fucking weird. I might be your child but I’m not a child anymore and it’s too late to get those things back.”

“I’m sure you would have been a great mother to me but I can’t be a great daughter to you. I’m never going to speak to birds or be ok with sleeping out in the woods. You don’t think I can be much help to you on this quest, even though I kicked ass with that whole beanstalk thing, but trust me when I say that there is no one that I’m not capable of killing in order to get back to Storybrooke. I wasn’t meant to live without electricity and I could quite literally murder someone for a hamburger and a cold beer.”

She hears a sound and startles but it is only a squirrel-like creature dashing through the clearing. “I hate it here. If I ever get home it’s possible that I will never go outside again.”

“I told you earlier that Regina is to blame for all of this, and she is. She made this curse, she took you all to Storybrooke and she ensured that I grew up sad and alone instead of with loving parents. What I didn’t tell you, what I can never tell you, is that I’m not sorry that she did it.”

“Without that curse I wouldn’t be me. I don’t always like myself, and I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of, but I don’t want to just throw my whole life away. Without the curse there would be no Henry and although it’s been difficult getting to know him, and I’m not the best parent, I do love that kid.”

“This next bit I don’t think you are going to like at all,” she shakes her head at the absurdity of the situation before continuing, “the curse also meant that I got to meet Regina.”

“You said that she wouldn’t want revenge if not for you.” She stops to think about the revelation that Regina’s mother killed the boy Regina loved. It’s not as though Regina is an open book but Emma is shocked that Regina left out this detail when mentioning her past love. “I don’t think she really wants revenge. I don’t think she wants anything other than a chance not to feel quite so bad.”

“She is lost and she’s damaged but there is good in her. A lot of good.” She says this knowing full well that Regina tried to curse her to some world of fire and pain for all eternity. Emma’s not ignoring that and at some point she plans to have words with Regina over it. Strong words. Strong, angry words. Strong, angry words that she really hopes will result in some spectacular makeup sex. 

“Regina cares about Henry. She cares about me too. A lot. I’m pretty sure she loves me.” It’s possible that she is going crazy because she could swear that Mary Margaret flinches at this news but that doesn’t stop her from delivering more difficult information, “I know I love her.” 

She had planned on saying so much more about Regina but finds that she is unable to share anything else. What she has with Regina is stronger than anything that she has ever experienced before but it’s also incredibly fragile. Their bond and their affection for one another are undeniable. Their ability to sustain a relationship is a lot more questionable. They have a lot to work on, and when she gets back to Storybrooke she plans to do just that. None of that is for Mary Margaret to know. It is enough for Emma to have been able to say that she loves Regina.

Emma feels awkward sitting there holding Mary Margaret’s hand after telling her about Regina. She looks around for Mulan but the super woman is nowhere to be found. That might be for the best; Emma doesn’t need a witness to the things she has confessed. She has no doubt that Mulan would use the truth against her if she could. 

It falls to her, by default, to be responsible for Mary Margaret’s safety but watching her sleep turns out to be more of a chore than Emma could have imagined. The slow rise and fall of Mary Margaret’s chest appears to have a hypnotic effect on Emma and she can feel sleep coming to claim her. She should feel like a failure but she knows that nothing was ever really expected of her. At some point Mulan is bound to return and when she does Emma is certain the warrior can watch over two sleeping people as easily as she can one.

Once she decides to surrender to sleep she feels a sense of peace. For her sleep has become infinitely preferable to being awake. There is nothing good for her here and sleep is a welcome respite. Oblivion would be an improvement on her current predicament but sleep is even better. Sleep comes with dreams. They may not be the dreams that hold the secret to returning them to Storybrooke but her dreams hold Regina and because of that, to her, they are magical.


End file.
